Wednesday, February 27, 2008

When Did This Happen?

I'm a huge supporter of the arts. Just thought I'd get that out there. As Christians, I think we have an even higher responsibility and greater difficulty. Sorry if I'm being vague, but I, believe it or not, am actually having difficulty articulating my thoughts (I know, hard to believe, huh? :) ) I think Madeleine L'Engle said it best when she wrote that,

"All art, good, bad, indifferent, reflects its culture. Great art transcends its culture and touches on that which is eternal. Two writers may write the same story about the same man and woman and their relationship with each other. One writer will come up with art and the other with p*or*nog*raph*y. There is no subject that is not appropriate for the artist, but the way in which it is handled can sometimes be totally inappropriate. True art has mythic quality in that it speaks of that which was true, is true, and will be true.

Too much concern about
Christian art can be destructive both to art and to Christianity. I can not consciously try to write a Christian story. My own life and my own faith will determine whether or not my stories are Christian. Too much Christian art relies so heavily on being Christian that the artist forgets that it also must be good art......If we are truly Christian, that will be evident, no matter what the topic. If we are not truly Christian, that will also be evident, no matter how pious the tale."

Excellent quote, is it not? This art, I think, does not work through propositions but rather through indirect means used by the imagination. However, I think that Christians have belittled or ignored the imagination. When did we become so politicized and ideological? When did we pass the divide where politics began to be more highly valued than culture? These are culture wars, which I find to be oxymorons as culture is about nourishment and cultivation, whereas war inevitably involves destruction. The two sides could, I suppose, be seen as progressive vs. conservative, but I truly think that we can't simplify the issue to such a degree.

Am I being clear? Maybe if I think of a better way to explain my ponderings I'll write them here for you all to stew over! Such are the rambling, probing thoughts of an ever- thinking and curious mind! :)

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sickening Condescension

On Friday I took Kimora, Kariah, and Kajanae out to each lunch at the Colonnade, a neat family-friendly restaurant in Atlanta that specializes in classic Southern food. Afterwards, we went to Imagine It! children's museum. We had a fantastic girls' day out while poor dada was on call, working hard as usual.

There was, however, a very troubling conversation that I overhead (much to the delight of the speaker) during our otherwise enjoyable lunch. We were seated near another mother and her two children; she had a boy that I would guess is about six and a girl probably around four. They were obviously from out of town- I won't get into it...just trust me! Many of you know what I mean.

As children do, the four-year-old girl asked some questions very loudly that were none of her business. I wasn't offended in the least by this part; she was merely a curious child. Staring over at us, she asked her mom, "Mommy, is that their babysitter?" ("that" being me; "their" referring to my daughters). "No, sweetheart; she's their mommy." (How she could be so sure, I don't know) The child delved further. "Why don't they look like their mommy?" "Because she had s*e*x with a negro, honey."

Ummm....excuse me? Please tell me I just imagined this conversation. Someone smack me, please!! I can understand a curious child, but I can not FATHOM a mother who would not only permit her daughter to continue asking questions within earshot, but who blatantly judged me, my daughters, and "the negro" that I "had sex with."

Never mind that my daughters DO look like me. Never mind that I'm MARRIED to the "negro" I "had sex with". Never mind we don't live in the 1800s anymore and that anyone remotely PC knows the inappropriate implications of such a word. She wanted me to hear her comments; I knew it..I'm not stupid. In fact, quite the opposite.

I stared down at my my peppermint ice cream (a signature trademark of the Colonnade) and didn't want anymore. I looked at my beautiful daughters, gloriously oblivious to the remarks. Kimora with her little cornrows just like mommy, intent on scraping her ice cream dish clean and making goofy faces; Kariah and her adorable little curls in ponies, laughing at her big sister, and Kajanae, asleep in my arms with her fringe of mile-long eyelashes making half moons on her cheeks. I thought of my husband working at his medical office; the man of my dreams, my soulmate, everything and more I ever dreamt of....a gorgeous guy with diligence, patience, quiet strength, and feistiness....a man who is fiercely in love with me.

Wow...how little that lady knows...and what a shame. Don't anyone worry; we had a fantastic day nevertheless. However, I felt compelled to share this with you all. Incidents such as these remind me of how far we truly have to go in exterminating the ignorance and racism that is STILL far too prevalent in our society.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Happy Anniversary of Your Arrival, Ciahnna!

Today marks three years that my little sister Ciahnna has been a foster child in our family. I have so enjoyed experiencing her “tween” years! She is such a mature young lady for having turned fourteen only last December. I was reminiscing about her first few weeks at my parents’ home and remembered how she could never fall asleep. She seemed so anxious and troubled; I remember the only way that she would fall asleep was if I would lie down beside her and sing (I was seven months pregnant with Kimora). The following song always was calming for her; enjoy these lyrics, written as God speaking to us:


Set your troubled hearts at rest, set your troubled hearts at rest.

I have stilled the wildest thunder; I will give you rest.


Lay your heavy burdens down, lay your heavy burdens down.

I have come to carry your burden; lay your burden down.


Trust me in your unbelief, trust me in your unbelief.

I have met you in your doubting; trust me and believe.


Set your troubled hearts at rest, set your troubled hearts at rest.

I have made a dwelling for you, I will give you rest.

I have made a dwelling for you, I will give you rest.


Our hearts are fuller and happier thanks to your presence in our lives, Ciahnna. We’re so glad you’re part of our family! Love and blessings….true sisters forever! Love you! <3

Saturday, February 16, 2008

My Valentine

Instead of having the traditional romantic dinner on Valentine’s Day this year, my hubby planned a “throw back” night for us. The evening was so special and thoughtful.

Right before leaving for the evening I nursed Kaji and explained in detail the routine and wrote out an extensive list for my mother. Funny thing is, my mother already knew everything I was telling her; I just tend to be silly and micromanaging. I pumped earlier in the day so that my mother could give Kajanae a bottle while I was gone, and then Jamal and I would be home in time for me to nurse her again. Acaijah and Ciahnna came with mom to help out with Kimora and Kariah. Corinne couldn’t make it; she had a date! *wink wink ;). Dad and mom had their special date earlier in the afternoon, so, don’t worry! They got to celebrate Valentine’s Day, as well. :)

I wore a black empire waist halter dress that Jamal loves. I’m actually smaller than my pre-pregnancy size; my doctor seems concerned. I weigh less, yet my boobs are bigger. Anyway, this is a tangent and not the direction that I had intended for this post!

First stop was a production of the musical Godspell. This was an EXCELLENT interpretation of the original classic. I performed in my university’s production of Godspell when I was a student, so seeing the performance was very nostalgic for me! Next stop was a diner we frequented as dating lovebirds. During dessert, despite my cajoling against it once I figured out what he was intent on doing, Jamal waltzed up to the karaoke stage. He then proceeded to sing Chris Brown’s With You. I could only stare adoringly at him the entire time, our eyes locked through the whole song. I was in tears. A beautiful moment I’ll surely remember.

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Hey lil mama, ooh you're a stunner
Hot little figure, yes you a winner, and
I'm so glad to be yours
You're a class of your own and
Ooh little cutie, when you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart and
I'm so glad that you're mine
You are one of a kind, and
You mean to me what I mean to you
And together baby there is nothing we won't do

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... girl
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Oh girl

I don't want nobody else
Without you there's noone left, and
You're like Jordans on Saturday
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now
Hey lil shorty, say you care for me
You know I care for you
You know that I will be true
You know that I won't lie
You know that I will try
Be your everything


'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

Oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Yeah

And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so I won't run
I don't need another woman
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
They need their boo
They gotta see their boo
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
Hearts all over the world tonight

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh(girl)
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
Baby yeah

Thank you, baby, for an unforgettable Valentine’s Day. Five-and-a-half years and counting. I look forward to many more years with you. All my love; your shawty forever. <3

Friday, February 8, 2008

Contemplating the Novelties

Since arriving home from the hospital, I've noticed some things about our new life.

-Kimora seems so HEAVY! The first few times I lifted her after Kajanae's birth, I was shocked at how heavy she felt. Kariah seems soooo long, especially when I lay her down for a diaper change. I remember after Kariah was born, I experienced the same thing...thinking that Kimora looked so long (as Kimora also wore diapers when Kariah was born). Now the same thoughts are occurring to me, only this time, they apply to Kariah's size vs. Kajanae's....and an even greater difference between the baby and Kimora!

-I had forgotten how much laundry a family with a newborn goes through! Frequent outfit changes, burp cloths, sheets, blankets, etc. all amount to a great deal of washing, drying, and folding. My dear mother and sisters have been sooo helpful in this department; I'm forever indebted to you all! :)

-Another thing I had forgotten is how expressive a newborn's facial expressions can be! Kajanae makes some of the most darling, funny faces. When I'm nursing her and I plan to reach for the book beside me, I end up looking down at her and I forget to read. She nurses, I admire her, and the book goes unread (which is fine, because I know these days are fleeting, and I treasure these moments very much).

-One of my favorite things that Kajanae does is snuggle against me with her arms tucked in and legs curled up....she looks perfectly at peace. She reminds me of a koala bear as I cuddle with her, and I call her that.

-Kimora and Kariah have made some funny statements since Kajanae's birth. For example, Kimora keeps forgetting that when I feed Kajanae, it's called "nursing" or "breastfeeding." Instead, Kimora calls it "milking." (While I'm still nursing Kariah, she obviously doesn't nurse as often; I assume that this is why Kimora's special term is just now coming out!) Why yes, sweetheart! That is actually a very accurate description, but for some reason, we don't usually call it that!

-
One thing that Kimora and Kariah have picked up from us is how to croon to Kajanae when she fusses. When Kajanae is fussing, Kimora and Kariah will say in a sing-song voice, "Kaji, it okay. We're here." :)

-Something else that I've noticed since we've been home is that Jamal has a new favorite phrase. When we're going to bed and I'm talking about something very unromantic such as our girls, my parents, my siblings, his family, my shopping finds, the accumulating laundry, etc., he'll always get a feisty look on his face and say, "You talking dirty to me?" I, then, burst out in uncontrollable laughter, which I'm sure is not the result he's looking for.....very creative and an A for effort on his part, anyway.....I must admit that I do enjoy it very much! :) Love you baby.

As my family grows, my love for them grows, and grows, and grows. It's hard to contain it, much less describe it!

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Just a Quick Hello

Wow…it’s been a while! We had a fabulous weekend in Savannah; thanks to those of you who asked. We enjoyed spending time with J’s family…particularly Jacinta, Tyrese, and baby Keyana with whom we shared our adjoining suite. The children behaved very well…they were delighted to have a new city to explore. We hit up some children’s museums, which were big hits. Kajanàe was as good as can be….quite a little trooper for being in a completely new environment. We bought Kimora, Kariah, and Kajanàe matching Roca Wear jackets! My little babies look so ghetto fabulous :) ! Kajanàe attracts a lot of attention while we are out, because she has so much hair for a two week-old baby; her cute little dark curls are so plentiful that I can even manage a few teeny ponytails!

So, I just wanted to take this opportunity to give a quick update and let everyone know that we're still here and we had a fabulous weekend! Hearts and hugs....

Friday, February 1, 2008

S*e*x and Savannah

So…sticky subject…and lots of s’s. :) Kajanàe is now 10 days old; that’s a week and 3 days. The question is, how long does one wait…or better, how long do two wait? You know what I’m talking about—no secrets here. I know the required healing period varies between individuals. It’s quite a strange (not to mention AWKWARD) subject on which to ask for others’ input. I’m very straightforward with my doctor, but she tends to be very strict and “by the books”. I really appreciate that about her, and I follow all of her instructions and advice to the tee; however, I’m thinking that this is one area that may call for a little cheating!

…..Not soon, however. Allow me to explain. This weekend, Jamal’s parents are taking ALL of us to Savannah for a celebration of Kajanàe’s and Keyana’s births….a huge shebang including our family and the families of Jamal’s four siblings. Each immediate family will share an adjoining suite with another immediate family (one will share with the parents for an even six, or three mega suites in total). We will be adjoined with Jacinta and Tyrese, since we both have babies (Keyana was born last June). We are very excited for this trip; a wonderful opportunity to relax with family. However, let me just be emphatic in saying that there will be NO “action” on this trip, considering the adjoined suites…hear me, honey? So stop the begging, bribing, and cajoling before you even begin! :) There will be plenty of daytime excitement though, from enjoying the city with our little ones to relaxing in the hotel to even having dinner on the water Saturday night!

Did I mention this trip was a surprise? I think I forgot that little detail! Add that to the pile of “s” words! We found out….Wednesday! Momma Tessa knew I’d be stressing about the trip if I knew beforehand, and probably wouldn’t agree to go with a new baby. She’s a sly one, Jamal’s mother is….and she spoils us, obviously! Sorry to all those who hate their mothers-in-law…mine’s a keeper! Love you all and I’ll see you this evening after everyone gets off work and we hit the road!


(note: asterisks * because I don't want to be googled for that word :) )

Oops I'm Sorry

In my previous post, I simply wanted to showcase my wonderful sister Acaijah's incredible brilliance and wit. I had absolutely no intention of offending anyone...and I'm sorry to those of you who were. Thank you to those who jumped to my defense. I obviously know that Jesus was a man and that he was of Jewish descent...the post was meant simply for a laugh. I hope that you all no longer call into question my devotion to my Lord. Now, on to happier things...