Sometimes I wish that I could know and comprehend the mind of God. Being able to "just do" has never been my forte; I'm a planner, an analyzer, a scrutinizer, a questioner...these traits of mine make simply TRUSTING a daily challenge. Each morning I take up my cross and follow my LORD, determined to lose my life for Him, which, ultimately, saves my life. Did I mention that this is a daily challenge? How can I possibly think that Lia can do things better than and understand things more fully than the Master of the Universe? How self-absorbed is that!? Why do I always feel the need to take matters into my own hands? I KNOW that God knows best...but my inquiring mind wants to understand his will and comprehend the fullness of His glory. (Just as a side note, I use the masculine pronoun when referring to God so as to minimize confusion. However, God is not male, nor is God female. God is beyond gender...just so we're clear!)
Why all of this talk about trusting God all of a sudden? Well, I've already described the "frustrating" part mentioned in the title. Now for the baffling part....We're feeling called as a family to do something that many onlookers would consider outrageous, loco, and perhaps even irresponsible. My human tendencies (they're darned things, they are!) have compelled me to resist this calling. However, my long discussions with family members, particularly with my hsuband, have led me to believe that we are indeed hearing the calling of God. Even some comments that Kimora has said recently have inspired me beyond what I ever believed a three-year-old could. Her insights spoke to my heart and the timings were uncanny. I fully believe in involving people not directly related to the situation to help us perceive and decipher what we're "hearing"....and it's pretty clear, as I said, that God has a very special plan for our family. While we're confident that God is leading us, the means through which we will fulfill this calling, and obviously the outcome, are competely unknown and still provoke me to be...well, baffled.
"Here I am, LORD. Is it I, LORD? I have heard you calling in the night. I will go, LORD, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart."
Finally, while the means and outcome are unclear, I have no doubt that they will bring incomprehensible blessings. Many times throughout my life I've felt that I've been "blessed with a burden."
"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." ~Ezekiel 34:26