.........yep. That was the scene of my departure...first official separation between baby girl #1 and mommy. It was Kimora's first day at preschool, and she was going to have nothing to do with it, if she had any say about it!! Being the child, poor thing, she didn't have anything to say about it. I had to leave her there in her mess of tears to fend for herself amidst unfamiliar faces and strange surroundings. I had never seen Kimora act this way; she's always been such a go-getter, the life of the party, the ringleader. But not last Tuesday. Last Tuesday she was a little 3-year-old who wanted to spend the day with her mommy, just as she was used to. I could barely hold myself together until I got to the car. Then I, too, bawled like a 3-year-old.
I was puzzled. Kimora had been SOOO excited to attend preschool in the months leading up to her first day. We talked excitedly together about the friends she would make and the fascinating stuff that she would learn! We talked about how Mommy would drop her off at school and come back home, and then come back to pick her up later. She mused about taking Karmello with her to preschool when he comes to live with us. We even went by to visit the school and have orientation; her little face lit up when she saw her classroom and was so happy to see "Kimora" on one of the nametags on the table. However, last Tuesday, the tables turned. When it came time for me to leave, she WOULD NOT let me put her down!! I stayed for a little while, talking quietly to her and pointing out the other children playing around the room. I reminded her that I'd be back before lunch to pick her up. Kimora still not convinced, I went over to the dress-up station with her and helped her put on a fairy costume I knew she'd like. I put on one of the hats and got a giggle out of her. One of her teachers came over, and I could tell she was hinting that it was high time for me to leave. Oh great, I thought. I guess I'm the proverbial overbearingly protective mother. I introduced Kimora to one of the other little girls playing dress-up, and told Kimora that she can play with (little girl's name) because Mommy has to leave, will be back, blah blah blah, I love you, *kisses*....and then began the waterworks. The teachers swooped in to try and distract her, but I know my Kimora....she won't have the wool pulled over HER eyes!!
I came to pick her up, then, before lunch. The teachers gave me a report saying that she didn't really say anything all morning, cried aloud for about an hour after I left, and then cried silently in the corner for another hour and a half. :-( I suppose some of the time she was crying was also spent at the table when they were doing their academic activities. They said that after she finished crying, she walked over to the art station and drew pictures until snack. Hearing this was unimaginably difficult. I felt so bad for my poor, poor little Kimora Pie. I felt bad that I couldn't make the transition smoother for her.
When she saw me, she was almost done with her snack and came running, barreling actually, toward me, knocking her chair over in the process. I was so happy to be reunited with Kimora; I had missed her so much that day, but I was really sad for her that she had such a rough time. :-( Before driving home I admired the pictures that she had drawn. I asked her if she played dress-up a lot, and she said she hadn't. I didn't bother asking her if she liked school; I knew the answer to that one.
Since the 3-year-olds in this program go two days a week, her next school day was Thursday. Tuesday repeat. Enough said. I'll spare you the details.
Tomorrow is Tuesday again. I'm dreading it. I hate seeing my baby cry, crying out for me, her mommy. I taught her a song this weekend that has the lyrics, "My mommy comes back, she always comes back, she never will forget me!!" I told Kimora she could sing that to herself if she gets sad at school. I also gave her a miniature family photo of us to put in her pocket so she can find comfort in looking at us. I hope these little "diddies" help ease her separation anxiety. I'll let you know....For now, Kajanae calls; she's hungry.