It wasn't too long ago that my life was anything but small. Before having children, I had traveled to nine different countries. I had graduated from a large university, where I met thousands and thousands and thousands of people during my time there. I was constantly on tour up and down the East Coast, performing in musicals, singing, acting, and dancing with our university group. I had performance arts schools admissions personnel and modeling agencies beating down my door.
I felt like I had seen the world, and more importantly, impacted it. In my mind, there was nothing I couldn't do. The world was at my fingertips, brimming with unknown possibilities...
Yet. What degree was I so diligently pursuing at this great university? A Masters degree in Education. Despite my performance talents, I felt God tugging me in a different direction, a different venue through which to impact the world- teaching children.
I had a job offer right away, so I was able to jump into teaching the subsequent year after graduation. I taught for a year and loved it. But God filled my womb with an unexpected miracle: Kimora. So, unable to commit my time and energy to teaching when I needed to dedicate my time energy to my baby, I became a stay at home mommy.
Fast forward 17 months.
*bam* Kariah enters the picture…this time a planned miracle.
Fast forward 17 months.
*bam* Kajanae enters the picture…she was also a planned miracle.
Fast forward 6 months.
*bam*….and we’re beginning the process of adding to our family for the fourth time, this time through adoption.
I will raise these children to the best of my ability…love them..cherish them. But, then when they’re all in school, I’ll pick up where I left off. Pursuing my dreams. Because really, this whole stay-at-home mommy thing is just a season. Nothing more, right?
Funny how my sphere of influence has drastically shrunk from thousands to four: Jamal. Kimora. Kariah. Kajanae.
As my world continues to function on a “smaller” scale, our hearts continue to grow for the "small" things that God has set before us. Because as we now prepare to bring our fourth Little Person into our family, I realize that my dreams have changed.
Maybe some would say that it's been a decrease in vision...a waste in talent....But I'd say it's become a more fine-tuned hope that Yes, there is most definitely something around the corner. Something bigger than I ever thought about before...
My children's unfolding destinies.
...their knowledge of a Kingdom and Creator yet unseen..their solid confidence that will continue to build them up when the world tears them down...their ability to truly love because they were loved.
While I have felt called to be a teacher, I now wonder about my interpretation of that vocation.
My interpretation was by the world's standards: A classroom...students...success. God would get the glory. I'd get the paycheck. Perfect. Thanks God.
But now I have to wonder as *revelation* hits my heart. I may very well be called in this season of my life to be my children’s teacher.
TD Jakes writes this of his sons, "...I know that they are manuscripts yet to be written and songs waiting to be sung. To the world I say get ready for them. They are being printed at this very moment and soon to be published. They will be well worth reading."
I know this is the case for my own little ones, as well.
I haven’t by any means forfeited the idea of teaching in a classroom again when my kids are older, which is what I still at this point intend to do...I just want to remain always open and ever-discerning of God’s will in my life...during EVERY season. This is the mindset I want to have, considering my life has so far been surprises galore. ;)